Ha ha “pew research”

He looks like that one Homestar Runner fan’s unintentional dumpy Robert Smith costume

Needless to say, any gap time is spent jelqing and mewing while spamming racism online with your other hand.

It’s all part of the grindset.

4:00 AM: wake up
4:01 AM: ice cold shower. Use Lava soap on your entire body. Does it hurt? Good.
4:06 AM: breakfast. Blend 6 raw egg yolks, 1L scoop of Mazuri Primate Growth & Repro gorilla feed, one can of Monster Ultra Zero, and 4x the recommended creatine for your weight
4:09 AM: sprint around your house punching walls and letting out defeating kiai
4:29 AM: inject steroids
4:30 AM: lift. 120 sets of two half-reps back, arms, chest.
5:30 AM: rest 5:30:30 AM: that’s enough rest, soy boy. Legs and squats, 120 sets of two half-reps.
6:00 AM: get dressed in a Big Dogs T-shirt and jorts.
6:02 AM: leave for work. On foot. In the street. Barefoot. Take a pocket full of sparkplugs and smash the windows of every car that gets within arm’s length.
6:45 AM: arrive at office. Visit every break room and throw away any donuts or cakes you find. Inspect lunches.
7:00 AM: clock in
7:01 AM: do email. Berate everyone you come into contact with. If they haven’t made any mistakes, bring up old ones. Assert your dominance.
7:10 AM: go AWOL with an autoclicker running and hit the gym
7:11 AM: inject steroids
7:12 AM: start deadlifting. If you’re not comfortable with the weight, lift it till you are. If you’re comfortable with your weight, add more. Don’t be a fucking pussy. Make sure to throw the weight at the floor every time, don’t just drop it like a beta.
1:25 PM: leave gym. Scream as loud as you can directly into a cardio bunny’s ear on the way out.
1:30 PM: lunch. Boiled chicken with broccoli and oatmeal. You don’t eat rice anymore. Add one full bottle of Carolina reaper sauce. If you don’t use the whole bottle, put the leftovers in your fucking purse.
1:35 PM: start shitting to expel breakfast. I didn’t say go be an obedient little boy who meekly goes poopy in the toilet like society commands, be a fucking man and shit where you please without warning.
1:40 PM: use a coworker’s desk phone to call in a bomb threat to a random police station.
1:42 PM: push-ups to failure.
2:00 PM: get money. Close deals and make decisions.
3:45 PM: leave early. Tell the receptionist to clock you out later or you’ll piss in her car’s air intake again.
3:46 PM: piss in her car’s air intake anyway
3:47 PM: inject steroids
3:48 PM: start listening to the Bible in Georgian in your left ear and Wagner in your night ear, and hit the gym
3:50 PM: nude squats. Fart boisterously.
4:50 PM: leave for home.
5:35 PM: arrive home and enter through the highest window. Free climb your house to get there.
5:36 PM: start gooning
3:55 AM: go to sleep

This is your reminder that Tom Clancy wrote a fictional universe in which the United States and Russia actually disarmed all of their ICBMs, and portrayed it as a good thing. He also had the U.S. spending tons of humanitarian dollars on a multi-state partition of Israel and Palestine with an internationally-governed neutral Jerusalem. He had a book where under-regulated capitalism led to a cartel of businessmen taking control of the Japanese government and running it as a rogue state. Possibly my favorite, he wrote the U.S. and Europe spending money like water to foster democracy and civic pride in late '90s Russia, culminating in Russia being admitted into NATO so that the entire global north could be controlled by a proto-state of liberal democracies, putting a check on the expansion of authoritarian powers and hopefully laying the groundwork for a very-long-term dream of a free and democratic world state with no war.

This is someone who was accurately labeled a conservative. They used to be allowed to believe in things like that.